....I just feel like I'm dying a normal rate. ***** please let it be known that I have had this entry in-progress since January 10. I am such a procrastinator, le sigh. Also, I use bad grammar, syntax, whatever it's called. I jump from past to present tense a couple times here... just go with it and enjoy the story*****
I had a cold. It was an icky cold, but totally live-through-able (don't mock my made-up language!). I had the usual, runny/stuffy nose, sore throat, cough, but it wasn't extreme and I had no other effects. I just tried to not breathe on anything or anyone. I carried tissues with me everywhere and I took cold medicine. It took me like 2 weeks to get over it... then I was fine for 1 or 2 days.
Yes, you read that right... just one or two measly little days. wtf cold?! When it came back... I assumed it was the same cold. It started the same way my last one ended, but I stopped taking medicine because I thought "oh, this is the end of the cold, I'll be fine in a day".... that "day" turned into 2 and then it turned into 3 and then I was almost dying on an airplane!
Literally. I thought I was dying.
Okay, you're right... that was an exaggeration. I didn't just think I was dying. I knew I was. And you'll find out how I knew it below...
They called the A group to line up quite a while before they loaded us on the plane. Had I known I would be standing there forever, I wouldn't have left my seat so soon, but as it was I got up, put on my jacket and backpack and wheeled my luggage over to the A 41-45 group section. Then I stood there... and get hot... and got even hotter... and got super hot. I kept thinking they'll call us into the plan, I can take my jacket off, turn the air on above me and be fine... but no. I had already been standing there for a good 15 minutes with people crowded all around me, trying my hardest not to cough or blow my nose so as not to get the evil "omg, you have the black plague, get away from me" look. Finally I decided, screw it, we're not going anywhere anytime soon and I put my hair up in a clip and took my backpack off. That helped a little bit, but not enough. I wanted to take off my jacket. I should have taken off my jacket, but... ... okay, so I was afraid that because I was so hot that I would have sweated in my shirt and I didn't want those around me to see any sweat marks *sigh* Anyway, they finally boarded us and I took a seat some-what close to the front of the plane so I could deboard faster when we got to Oakland. It turned out to be a full flight, but I boarded fairly early on, so I got to sit down, take my jacket off, and let the cool air blow on my face. It was nice... but the niceness left me all too swiftly.
The flight fills quickly and I know it's only a matter of time before someone sits down next to me. I've had some strange experiences with the people who sit next to me (i.e. the guy who fell asleep on me, the 31 year old woman who had a teddy bear and a one of those dead-fish-like handshakes, and the woman who didn't want to put the arm rest down). I didn't see him coming. Had I seen him coming, I might have tried to cough or blow my nose to deter him... maybe even glare menacingly at him. Before I know it, a man appears and as I'm glancing up, I hear the woman sitting in the aisle seat say that no one is sitting between us... The man who takes the seat next to me was wearing a HUGE wool coat... wtf?!?! A wool coat on an airplane! Dude... take that thing off! I've never been on an airplane that was cold... okay... again I lied. The flight from Atlanta to Valdosta in November was cold, but only my feet were cold, my upper body wasn't... anyway, I digress. So I'm already hot. Remember? I took my jacket off when I got to my seat and I opened the vent above me pointing it directly at me... It HAD felt nice... until Mr. HugeWoolCoat sat down.
I couldn't even try to fight for the arm rest. His wool coat was like my kryptonite at that moment. I tried to lean against the window, I fanned myself with my book, I tried to sleep to ignore the heat. I was getting so hot, I even kicked off my shoes. I never take my shoes off on airplanes (I don't know what's been on those airplane floors), but I did this time. I was all over the place in my chair trying to get away from him, but still get the full blast of air from my vent. I can only imagine what the people behind me thought. My hand was over the back of the seat, it was plastered on the wall, it was reaching up every couple minutes to the vent. They must've thought I was crazy. Suddenly, my heat turned to something else. I started to feel nauseous. I had hoped that the feeling would pass, but no... it only grew worse. On top of that, I still had a cold, so I was coughing every now and again. Every time I coughed I thought I was going to throw up right then and there. I frantically searched the seat back in front of me for one of those air sick bags, but there was none. Since when did airlines stop keeping those at each seat?!?! We hadn't even been in the air long enough for the pilot to turn off the seat belt sign. I ordered a ginger ale when the stewardess came around, hoping that I'd get it quickly and it would cool me down and settle my stomach. When the drink finally came, I did feel a little better, which was nice... but it only lasted for a couple seconds. Again, I felt the sensation to vomit. I held it in, but new that I had to get to the restroom and fast. I pushed the steward call button to ask if I could use the restroom even though the seat belt light was still on. About 30 seconds later the seat belt light turned off. Oh, lucky day!! I turned the steward light off, and told Mr. HugeWoolCoat and aisle girl "I'm sorry, but I need to use the restroom." Mr. HugeWoolCoat looked shocked... maybe people he travels with never pee, I don't know... and aisle girl looks annoyed, surely she can see that I'm dying here and will throw up at any second. There is no need for her to give me an evil glare. (Maybe I should have just paused and thrown up on her?) Anyway, the moment I'm standing up in the aisle and away from Mr. HugeWoolCoat, I start to feel better. I'm not feeling normal, mind you, but just a little better. Then I realize that I never put my shoes back on and am now walking down the darkened airplane in my socks with a presumable sweat-soaked shirt. What a mess! (Not even a hot mess... just a mess... that's how bad I felt) Crap! The stewardess is blocking my path to the restroom and doesn't even know that I'm standing behind her trying to pass... argh! It's like the whole plane is working against me!
Finally, I tap her on the shoulder, because clearly she can't hear me whenever I say "excuse me." She moves and I'm home free!!! I practically run/hobble the rest of the way to the restroom. Literally. I even got strange looks from the other two stewards that were busy making beverages at the back of the plane. (You might be wondering why I went to the back of the plane instead of the front restroom when I said that I was seated towards the front... wait, you weren't wondering that until I just pointed out that you should be wondering that? Oh... well... you're wondering it now, so I'll tell you. I am used to sitting towards the back of the plane. I like sitting behind the week and watching the little flap things on the plane during landing, so it was sort've by habit that I started heading that direction... but I also think it was by some divine intervention as well, because I'd only taken 4 steps towards the back when I see a man carrying a young child heading towards the front of the plane to use the restroom... I know this because I turned around while I was waiting for the stewardess to move out of my way and I saw the lavatory light shut off... so there... that's why) I take a look at myself in the mirror and realize I look the same as I always do. I'm a smidgen paler, but not a ton, there are no sweat marks on my shirt, I'm not even that red... I'm not a mess after all... but I still feel like crap.
They have a vent in the restroom too, so I turn that up and aim it at my neck. Ahhh.... If you've ever been in an airplane lavatory, then you know how tiny they are... but to me it felt like my own personal sanctuary for a moment. No wool coats to be found, cool water, tissues, it was amazing. I stayed in there for at least 5 minutes. The other passengers were probably mad at me, but whatever. It was better for us all this way. I some bags that are supposed to be used to toss your "sanitary napkins" away in a sanitary way and figured I could take one and use it as a barf bag if need be. I also splashed water on my face (but not too much, because there is a sign in there saying not to drink the water in there, so I really more like sprinkled water on my cheeks and neck) got a paper towel wet and put it on my neck. I actually started to feel a lot better... nice. So I decide to head out.
I make it back to my seat and I start to feel warm again, but this time I have a cold, wet, paper towel to put on my neck and arms and I feel better. For the rest of the flight, anytime I needed a little refresher I just used the towel. We get to Oakland and as I'm walking towards the outside to meet my sister I recognize the backs of two heads in front of me... I know that I know these people... what are their names? Oh... oh... it's... I play fantasy football with him and his wife is in my mom's sorority... oh man... it's... it's... oh it's Mary? Mary Anne? I don't know there are so many Mary's, Marianne's, Mary Ann's in that sorority I can't keep them all straight. So I tap her on the shoulder and say Mary Anne? And she looks at me and says "It's Mary" and I'm like... Oh, I'm sorry! And I tell her, who I am and say hi to her husband and they tell me that we were just on the same flight! They were visiting their youngest son in San Diego and my mom had told them I was down visiting friends. We say how nice it is to see each other (although truth be told, hardly anyone looks nice after a plane flight) and we go on our ways. I head outside while they head to baggage claim. So... as you may have guessed, I didn't die. Yay! And I didn't throw up either, which is a doubly good thing because 1. that would have ROYALLY sucked, but also 2. I knew people on that flight!
So... after all was said and done, about a week after that flight, I started to feel better cold wise. As of about the 10th, I've started to feel normal again. Even now, as of finally posting this, I still have a stuffy nose and coughs now and again, but I feel worlds better than I did on that flight and the days after. I never felt like throwing up again, never had any aches or pains through this whole cold, it's just been one long cold... which I think has something to do with the dry air from using the heater, and hmm.. maybe we need to change the filters in our heater, that would probably help. Anyways... my point is, I'm not dying quicker than I should be and I feel a lot better. :)
Showing posts with label vacation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label vacation. Show all posts
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Monday, November 30, 2009
The Atlanta Layover
Holy crap, how could I not finish telling you about the lady who talked my ear off in Atlanta on my way to Valdosta?!?!
She was really sweet, but boy could she talk. At first, she was chatting it up with me and the girl sitting on her other side, but somehow that girl got out of the conversation... very clever. Hmm...
So, we started off talking about the weather. She said she had flown in from North Carolina where there had been a huge storm just a few days before. So huge that she had worn a plastic bag over her head when running from her hair salon to the car... a plastic bag... she was afraid her umbrella would stop the rain, but not the wind... so she chose a method that might possibly suffocate her, but would keep her locks looking great! Priorities! Anyway, we go to talking about how it was so hot in Atlanta that day. You know... we talked about so much I can't even remember the order. I'm just going to list them.
Things I discussed with the sweet old lady, whose name I forget, in Atlanta, Georgia:
1. The weather in North Carolina, Georgia, and California.
2. She loves to do yard work and is the only person on her block that does not have a gardener.
3. She sometimes does yard work in her neighbors yards.
4. She is a widower.
5. She walks a mile every morning.
6. Her son works as a school counselor for a second chance school and how the kids love him and he really helps them turn their lives around and he somehow finds a way to connect with them and seems to know how to get down to the core of their problems so he can help them and how he is always getting stopped while out from a kid who thanks him for helping them.
7. Her 55th high school reunion is a couple of days away and over 300 people have RSVP'ed already.
8. How the balloon boy and his family are crazy and she doesn't understand why anyone would have thought it was real because clearly a boy couldn't have survived in that contraption, it was "too small and had no air" (her words, not mine)
9. She likes Starbucks.
10. For some reason it was cheaper for her to fly through Valdosta to get to Texas, but we can't figure out why.
11. How clean the Atlanta airport is.
12. San Diego's gorgeous scenery and perfect weather (most of the time).
13. Military bases in general and loud jets.
14. How annoying it is when there are last minute gate changes.
15. Technology changing how children are raised these days (including cell phones and texting and their relation to spelling and curfews)
16. The proper way to raise a child
... and more stuff that I'm forgetting at the moment.
She even offered me a piece of candy. She was really very sweet, but made it so I couldn't read my book like I planned. That's alright though, I finished the book later.
The actual flight from Atlanta to Valdosta was fine. There was a woman and her 1 year old son sitting next to me. He was cute but teething so he was a wee bit fussy until she gave him a bottle. When he started to cry once or twice I made funny faces at him and he stopped. It was an okay flight, with the exception of the dog food smell. I have no idea where that smell came from, but it completely smelled like dog food to me. Oh well.
That's pretty much it for my travel stories. I have more from actually being in Valdosta that I'll have to post later.
She was really sweet, but boy could she talk. At first, she was chatting it up with me and the girl sitting on her other side, but somehow that girl got out of the conversation... very clever. Hmm...
So, we started off talking about the weather. She said she had flown in from North Carolina where there had been a huge storm just a few days before. So huge that she had worn a plastic bag over her head when running from her hair salon to the car... a plastic bag... she was afraid her umbrella would stop the rain, but not the wind... so she chose a method that might possibly suffocate her, but would keep her locks looking great! Priorities! Anyway, we go to talking about how it was so hot in Atlanta that day. You know... we talked about so much I can't even remember the order. I'm just going to list them.
Things I discussed with the sweet old lady, whose name I forget, in Atlanta, Georgia:
1. The weather in North Carolina, Georgia, and California.
2. She loves to do yard work and is the only person on her block that does not have a gardener.
3. She sometimes does yard work in her neighbors yards.
4. She is a widower.
5. She walks a mile every morning.
6. Her son works as a school counselor for a second chance school and how the kids love him and he really helps them turn their lives around and he somehow finds a way to connect with them and seems to know how to get down to the core of their problems so he can help them and how he is always getting stopped while out from a kid who thanks him for helping them.
7. Her 55th high school reunion is a couple of days away and over 300 people have RSVP'ed already.
8. How the balloon boy and his family are crazy and she doesn't understand why anyone would have thought it was real because clearly a boy couldn't have survived in that contraption, it was "too small and had no air" (her words, not mine)
9. She likes Starbucks.
10. For some reason it was cheaper for her to fly through Valdosta to get to Texas, but we can't figure out why.
11. How clean the Atlanta airport is.
12. San Diego's gorgeous scenery and perfect weather (most of the time).
13. Military bases in general and loud jets.
14. How annoying it is when there are last minute gate changes.
15. Technology changing how children are raised these days (including cell phones and texting and their relation to spelling and curfews)
16. The proper way to raise a child
... and more stuff that I'm forgetting at the moment.
She even offered me a piece of candy. She was really very sweet, but made it so I couldn't read my book like I planned. That's alright though, I finished the book later.
The actual flight from Atlanta to Valdosta was fine. There was a woman and her 1 year old son sitting next to me. He was cute but teething so he was a wee bit fussy until she gave him a bottle. When he started to cry once or twice I made funny faces at him and he stopped. It was an okay flight, with the exception of the dog food smell. I have no idea where that smell came from, but it completely smelled like dog food to me. Oh well.
That's pretty much it for my travel stories. I have more from actually being in Valdosta that I'll have to post later.
The Return Home
I wrote this on my flight back from Georgia (on the Atlanta to SF leg). I've added a little bit to it while typing it out (in the form of **edit:**s). It's a little overdue, but whatever.
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Delta may very well be the biggest suck fest ever. Okay, so I have to wait to see if my bag makes it or not first for the ultimate verdict, but...
So, Matt and I leave for the airport at 4. It seriously rakes like no time to get there. I go inside to check my bag and no one is at the counter, so I use... the electric kiosk. I am genuinely nervous at this given my previous experiences with said kiosk, but I get up the courage and go to it. I'm trying to take my time in finding my confirmation # in hopes that someone will go to the desk and I can just go to them. No one comes, so I use the kiosk. Things go smoothly. I get my boarding pass, and a guy comes up to the counter and calls my name. I look up and say, "yes" and I bring my bag over to him. Do you know what he said to me? (Of course you don't... I've only told my parents this story so far... **edit: I have told a couple more people since then** well... wait. I guess you would know if you're reading this for a second or more time. In which case Thanks for your continued patronage! =) ) He says that my bag might NOT make it on the flight because I need to have "checked in earlier than 20 minutes before the flight." **edit: I'll have you know, I checked in online the night before, and I checked my bag at the kiosk 24 minutes before the original scheduled flight... it was 54 minutes before the now delayed schedule!** He says something about TSA needing time to check the bag and they are... busy or something? He points to a corner where presumably there was a TSA agent a second ago, but there is no one now. Weird. Anyways... I looked dumbfounded and I was like WHAT?!? and he says, "did you know the flight was delayed?" I respond, "I just found out" but I'm really thinking... why would it matter if I knew before or just now? Like would I get preferential treatment one way or another??! At least the guy did put the sticker on my bag, but anyways. He says the bag might go out first thing tomorrow morning. Freaking Valdosta has only 2 flights out a say (once in the morning and once for my flight now) I'm not a happy camper.
So... like I mentioned my flight is delayed until 5:15. My connection in Atlanta is at 6:55. My layover should have been about an hour, but now it's looking like a 30 minute layover... which means I need to book it once the flight lands. Atlanta airport as I said before has different concourses. I land at the very end of C and am taking off at A. So, I need to run from gate 55 to the tram, then from the tram to gate 25. I'm optimistic I'll make it, but not thrilled about it all. So, the flight boards, we sit there for a while for the stewardess to give some passenger god knows what and we finally take off. It's a fine flight. Pretty with the sun setting over the clouds. It's nice, makes me wish I could paint. Anyway, I listen to my iPod and before I know it we're preparing for landing. The pilot says Atlanta local time is 6:05. Nice! I have 50 minutes, that's more than enough time! I was wrong. It took FOREVER to taxi to the gate. I swear you'd think we'd landed 50 miles away. **edit: There were LOTS of people complaining about the delay, the long taxi time,and missing connections :( ** We get to the gate at 6:20!!! It took us 15 minutes to taxi to the gate and then guess what happened.... go on.... guess... fine, I'll tell you. The jet way was broken!! 10 minutes later, at 6:30, they unload us from the plane via a stairway (like I boarded and deboarded on my way to Georgia). Suddenly my adrenaline starts pumping and I'm off. Okay, so I didn't run to the tram, because well... have you seen me run with a full backpack on? Not pretty. But I make it all the way to the tram, to Concourse A, and to the gate with a couple minutes to spare. Seriously. I'm one of the last few on the flight. I make my way to my seat and there is... a normal sized lady in the spot next to me! Yay! But the armrest is up... I'm not dealing with this again. So, I put it down.
I settle in and then do you know what I hear? A child... directly behind me. that's well and fine and all, I like kids, usually, but this one has taken a liking to pulling on my chair making me flop around. His mom is telling him to stop, which is nice, but we just took off, so I'm a little nervous about how the rest of the flight will go. There are no personal TV sets on each chair this time, so I might just have to stick with reading, writing, and listening to the iPod. Gosh, I hope my bag is there when I land...
----
So, there you have it, my post from the sky.
I have a little to add. My bag did in fact get there, thank God! I know it seems like I'm hard on Delta, especially since my bag made it to its destination both times, but the problem I have is that I've traveled a fair amount without these issues. Growing up, my family and I didn't go camping or take road trips (except for the ones to visit my grandparents), we flew around the US and took in the sites. I used to love to fly. I would always be at the counter with my dad when he checked in our bags and I never once saw a hassle. The only time my luggage didn't get to its destination was when my girlfriends and I went to Hawaii after graduation, but the airline got our luggage to us that night with little hassle. Yes, we were upset, but we were assured our luggage would get to us right aware. We were not blamed for the issue in the slightest by the company. I recall later being chastised by our parents for not checking the tag to make sure it had the right destination first, but the airline was gracious. (That experience taught me to always have a change of clothes in your carry on if you check a bag... which by the way, I did have when I went to Georgia) My point is, I felt like Delta mislead me. The signs were wrong, the people that work at the airports were not friendly (except for Roy), and they made me freak out for nothing. Yes, I should have arrived at the airport sooner, but on my way to Georgia I got to the airport an hour ahead of time, which is plenty of time. In fact, it is the recommended time on the Delta website. When I flew out of Georgia I got to the airport 30 minutes early for its first scheduled departure and an hour early for its actual, delayed, departure. It's a small airport, I honestly thought that would be enough time and the Delta website didn't have a recommended time.
In short, I will do everything in my power to not have to fly on Delta ever again. Lizzy, if you're reading this... if you ever want me to visit again, you'll have to pick me up in Jacksonville. :-p
Oh, and the kid sitting behind me on the flight to SF continued to kick the chair through the flight. I could hear his mom yelling at him to stop, but he only listened for about 15 minutes then he got back to it. At one point, he stood up in his seat and grabbed the back of my seat, grabbing my head in the process. It was a saving grace to see my parents standing at the bottom of the elevator when I landed. It was like a breath of fresh air to know that I was done with the kid, done with the delays, and wouldn't have to deal with the loss of luggage (if that had been the case) alone.
As mentioned, the flight did not have the in-seat monitors, but it did have monitors in the aisles. They showed the movie 500 Days of Summer. I enjoyed it, but it's not a movie I would choose to watch again. I'm glad I was able to see it though, it was on my list of movies I wanted to check out.
----
Delta may very well be the biggest suck fest ever. Okay, so I have to wait to see if my bag makes it or not first for the ultimate verdict, but...
So, Matt and I leave for the airport at 4. It seriously rakes like no time to get there. I go inside to check my bag and no one is at the counter, so I use... the electric kiosk. I am genuinely nervous at this given my previous experiences with said kiosk, but I get up the courage and go to it. I'm trying to take my time in finding my confirmation # in hopes that someone will go to the desk and I can just go to them. No one comes, so I use the kiosk. Things go smoothly. I get my boarding pass, and a guy comes up to the counter and calls my name. I look up and say, "yes" and I bring my bag over to him. Do you know what he said to me? (Of course you don't... I've only told my parents this story so far... **edit: I have told a couple more people since then** well... wait. I guess you would know if you're reading this for a second or more time. In which case Thanks for your continued patronage! =) ) He says that my bag might NOT make it on the flight because I need to have "checked in earlier than 20 minutes before the flight." **edit: I'll have you know, I checked in online the night before, and I checked my bag at the kiosk 24 minutes before the original scheduled flight... it was 54 minutes before the now delayed schedule!** He says something about TSA needing time to check the bag and they are... busy or something? He points to a corner where presumably there was a TSA agent a second ago, but there is no one now. Weird. Anyways... I looked dumbfounded and I was like WHAT?!? and he says, "did you know the flight was delayed?" I respond, "I just found out" but I'm really thinking... why would it matter if I knew before or just now? Like would I get preferential treatment one way or another??! At least the guy did put the sticker on my bag, but anyways. He says the bag might go out first thing tomorrow morning. Freaking Valdosta has only 2 flights out a say (once in the morning and once for my flight now) I'm not a happy camper.
So... like I mentioned my flight is delayed until 5:15. My connection in Atlanta is at 6:55. My layover should have been about an hour, but now it's looking like a 30 minute layover... which means I need to book it once the flight lands. Atlanta airport as I said before has different concourses. I land at the very end of C and am taking off at A. So, I need to run from gate 55 to the tram, then from the tram to gate 25. I'm optimistic I'll make it, but not thrilled about it all. So, the flight boards, we sit there for a while for the stewardess to give some passenger god knows what and we finally take off. It's a fine flight. Pretty with the sun setting over the clouds. It's nice, makes me wish I could paint. Anyway, I listen to my iPod and before I know it we're preparing for landing. The pilot says Atlanta local time is 6:05. Nice! I have 50 minutes, that's more than enough time! I was wrong. It took FOREVER to taxi to the gate. I swear you'd think we'd landed 50 miles away. **edit: There were LOTS of people complaining about the delay, the long taxi time,and missing connections :( ** We get to the gate at 6:20!!! It took us 15 minutes to taxi to the gate and then guess what happened.... go on.... guess... fine, I'll tell you. The jet way was broken!! 10 minutes later, at 6:30, they unload us from the plane via a stairway (like I boarded and deboarded on my way to Georgia). Suddenly my adrenaline starts pumping and I'm off. Okay, so I didn't run to the tram, because well... have you seen me run with a full backpack on? Not pretty. But I make it all the way to the tram, to Concourse A, and to the gate with a couple minutes to spare. Seriously. I'm one of the last few on the flight. I make my way to my seat and there is... a normal sized lady in the spot next to me! Yay! But the armrest is up... I'm not dealing with this again. So, I put it down.
I settle in and then do you know what I hear? A child... directly behind me. that's well and fine and all, I like kids, usually, but this one has taken a liking to pulling on my chair making me flop around. His mom is telling him to stop, which is nice, but we just took off, so I'm a little nervous about how the rest of the flight will go. There are no personal TV sets on each chair this time, so I might just have to stick with reading, writing, and listening to the iPod. Gosh, I hope my bag is there when I land...
----
So, there you have it, my post from the sky.
I have a little to add. My bag did in fact get there, thank God! I know it seems like I'm hard on Delta, especially since my bag made it to its destination both times, but the problem I have is that I've traveled a fair amount without these issues. Growing up, my family and I didn't go camping or take road trips (except for the ones to visit my grandparents), we flew around the US and took in the sites. I used to love to fly. I would always be at the counter with my dad when he checked in our bags and I never once saw a hassle. The only time my luggage didn't get to its destination was when my girlfriends and I went to Hawaii after graduation, but the airline got our luggage to us that night with little hassle. Yes, we were upset, but we were assured our luggage would get to us right aware. We were not blamed for the issue in the slightest by the company. I recall later being chastised by our parents for not checking the tag to make sure it had the right destination first, but the airline was gracious. (That experience taught me to always have a change of clothes in your carry on if you check a bag... which by the way, I did have when I went to Georgia) My point is, I felt like Delta mislead me. The signs were wrong, the people that work at the airports were not friendly (except for Roy), and they made me freak out for nothing. Yes, I should have arrived at the airport sooner, but on my way to Georgia I got to the airport an hour ahead of time, which is plenty of time. In fact, it is the recommended time on the Delta website. When I flew out of Georgia I got to the airport 30 minutes early for its first scheduled departure and an hour early for its actual, delayed, departure. It's a small airport, I honestly thought that would be enough time and the Delta website didn't have a recommended time.
In short, I will do everything in my power to not have to fly on Delta ever again. Lizzy, if you're reading this... if you ever want me to visit again, you'll have to pick me up in Jacksonville. :-p
Oh, and the kid sitting behind me on the flight to SF continued to kick the chair through the flight. I could hear his mom yelling at him to stop, but he only listened for about 15 minutes then he got back to it. At one point, he stood up in his seat and grabbed the back of my seat, grabbing my head in the process. It was a saving grace to see my parents standing at the bottom of the elevator when I landed. It was like a breath of fresh air to know that I was done with the kid, done with the delays, and wouldn't have to deal with the loss of luggage (if that had been the case) alone.
As mentioned, the flight did not have the in-seat monitors, but it did have monitors in the aisles. They showed the movie 500 Days of Summer. I enjoyed it, but it's not a movie I would choose to watch again. I'm glad I was able to see it though, it was on my list of movies I wanted to check out.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
In the Air
Okay, so these is a large lady sitting next to me on the plane. I'd guess her to be about 280-300 pounds depending on her muscle content. No matter her weight, she was large enough that she did not have the arm rest down when I first got to my seat. I didn't know if she didn't have it down because it wouldn't have been comfortable for her or if she just didn't know it was there. (She definitely wasn't Delta savvy, as I later found out, so it's hard to make a guess on how flight savvy she was.) I was concerned that the arm rest wasn't down because it wouldn't be comfortable for her as she was already spilling over onto my seat, so I just left it up. Ordinarily I would have put it down, but I figured I would be nice in this case and let her decide. After I settle in (get my book out and put my backpack under the seat in front of me) I offer her some gum. (I find it helps my ears adjust during take-off and landing) She accepts and we just wait for the take-off. She makes no motion to put the arm rest down.
Each seat has its own video display on the back of the headrest, so I begin to fiddle with it a little bit after the safety video and take-off. It was sort've hard to navigate at first since I'd never used one before, but I'm usually pretty good about figuring things out. My neighbor's husband (presumably) is telling her how she can turn on the reading light if she needs it by touching a button on the display and then touching the reading light button. She finally gets it and the light goes on... I'm used to this, planes usually have your reading light above the other person, but angled so that it shines down on you... only thing is with our row some wires seem to have gotten crossed because the light above me didn't go on, the light above her went on and shined down on me! She turns it off and tries it again, same thing. I tried my light button and sure enough, the light above my head turns on and shines down on her. Okay, mental note: Wait until you're above the clouds to read your book, because you'd have to ask your neighbor to turn on the light if you want to read otherwise. (I may have made a joke to her about that or said something along the lines of, let me know if you want to read something.) For some reason, she tries the light for a 3rd time... okay lady, clearly it's not going to work as it should, just give it up.
I started fiddling with the touch screen, saw that I'd have to pay for the movies or HBO series, decided against those. I saw there was some satellite TV, but I didn't have my headphones out yet so I couldn't hear anything. The lady sitting next to me didn't have any headphones either, but that didn't stop her from watching CNN. When we got to cruising altitude, I reached down and got out my iPod and headphones, I had planned to just listen to music and read, but I thought I'd try and see if maybe there was something good on the TV first. I plugged my headphones into the armrest (I was in a window seat, so mine plugged into the one between me and the window, not the arm rest that was still up.) and flipped through the TV channels. There wasn't much I felt like watching, so I decided to check out the radio stations... I couldn't get any of those to work, there was just NO sound. I fiddled with the volume even though I could hear the TV fine, but just couldn't get the radio to work. At this point it was like the airplane knew how to calm me down. I think it was trying to say, chill... your suitcase is fine, the lady next to you is nice, and you don't really want to listen to the radio... just try to relax, there's nothing you can do about it now anyway. You see, I didn't get a chance to update my iTunes and iPod for the trip and I was curious about Miley Cyrus' album. The airplane had tons of CDs to listen to and Miley's CD was one of them to choose from! YAY! I got to listen to it without having to buy it, so it was my saving grace. And Halo by Beyonce helped calm me down.
Most of the rest of the flight was uneventful, except 2 things stand out in my mind. First, the lady next to me bought headphones from the stewardess, but then couldn't figure out where to plug them in at, so I told her they were on the arm rest that was up. I wasn't sure if she was still going to leave the arm rest up and just plug them in there, or if she was going to lower it to put her headphones in. She lowered it about halfway, plugged them in and then went back to the screen... I was shocked! This was really not comfortable! Finally when she settled on something to watch, she lowered the arm rest all the way *whew*... unfortunately this sort've squeezed her in the seat a little more, so her thigh kind've billowed out towards me and I needed to squeeze a little more towards the window so I wouldn't feel like I was sitting on her.
The second thing that stands out towards me is that we were totally skipped from the steward when they came around to see if anyone wanted anything to drink. This was the second time they passed through, since it was a long flight. I had an empty cup and a half filled cup of water. She had an empty cup. I don't know what the people in the row next to us had, but our whole row was completely skipped. They asked the people in front of us and the people behind us, but not us. The lady turns to me and says, what's wrong with us? Why skip us?! I had no idea what to say to her, I was just as dumbfounded. Her husband ended up getting up and asking the steward for 2 ginger ales (one for her and one for me... how nice!). I thanked them both. When the steward came with our drinks he claims that he saw our cups and thought we had drinks... umm... too bad the empty cups had TRASH IN THEM, so they are CLEARLY drink-less! Granted, I had some water in a cup on my tray, my neighbor didn't! Anyways, it was a harmless mistake that got rectified, so no harm there. The rest of the flight was fine, listening to music, sometimes watching TV, and generally just being squished up against the window. :)
Then, we landed in Atlanta. It was easy enough to look up and see I needed to go to terminal D (can't remember if they call them terminals there of if there is another name for them at the Atlanta airport), so I followed the crowd downstairs to the tram and got off at D, made my way back upstairs and headed to my gate... which happened to be the furthest one... of course! Oh! I didn't mention that I stopped to pee after I got off the flight. I bring this up because the Atlanta airport is SOOOO CLEAN!! It was amazing. Like seriously, you could totally eat in the bathroom and not be grossed out... well... except for just knowing that you're eating in a bathroom... but it's the cleanest public restroom I've ever been in. Seriously in the airport there were people cleaning up everywhere. It's like, oh, someone threw something in the trash bin, time to change the bag! Okay, maybe not that fast, but still very clean. So, I make it down to my gate and don't see my flight listed, so I go to the screens and see they've changed my gate, to one I've already walked by... of course! I make my way to the new gate and go sit down when some people get up to board the flight before mine. That's when I meet a sweet old lady!
She was so nice and very chatty I might add. She was heading to Texas from North Carolina for her... get this... her 55TH HIGH SCHOOL REUNION!!!! So, I'm not kidding when I say "old lady." She said that last she heard, 300 people had RSVP'd.
...to be continued...
Each seat has its own video display on the back of the headrest, so I begin to fiddle with it a little bit after the safety video and take-off. It was sort've hard to navigate at first since I'd never used one before, but I'm usually pretty good about figuring things out. My neighbor's husband (presumably) is telling her how she can turn on the reading light if she needs it by touching a button on the display and then touching the reading light button. She finally gets it and the light goes on... I'm used to this, planes usually have your reading light above the other person, but angled so that it shines down on you... only thing is with our row some wires seem to have gotten crossed because the light above me didn't go on, the light above her went on and shined down on me! She turns it off and tries it again, same thing. I tried my light button and sure enough, the light above my head turns on and shines down on her. Okay, mental note: Wait until you're above the clouds to read your book, because you'd have to ask your neighbor to turn on the light if you want to read otherwise. (I may have made a joke to her about that or said something along the lines of, let me know if you want to read something.) For some reason, she tries the light for a 3rd time... okay lady, clearly it's not going to work as it should, just give it up.
I started fiddling with the touch screen, saw that I'd have to pay for the movies or HBO series, decided against those. I saw there was some satellite TV, but I didn't have my headphones out yet so I couldn't hear anything. The lady sitting next to me didn't have any headphones either, but that didn't stop her from watching CNN. When we got to cruising altitude, I reached down and got out my iPod and headphones, I had planned to just listen to music and read, but I thought I'd try and see if maybe there was something good on the TV first. I plugged my headphones into the armrest (I was in a window seat, so mine plugged into the one between me and the window, not the arm rest that was still up.) and flipped through the TV channels. There wasn't much I felt like watching, so I decided to check out the radio stations... I couldn't get any of those to work, there was just NO sound. I fiddled with the volume even though I could hear the TV fine, but just couldn't get the radio to work. At this point it was like the airplane knew how to calm me down. I think it was trying to say, chill... your suitcase is fine, the lady next to you is nice, and you don't really want to listen to the radio... just try to relax, there's nothing you can do about it now anyway. You see, I didn't get a chance to update my iTunes and iPod for the trip and I was curious about Miley Cyrus' album. The airplane had tons of CDs to listen to and Miley's CD was one of them to choose from! YAY! I got to listen to it without having to buy it, so it was my saving grace. And Halo by Beyonce helped calm me down.
Most of the rest of the flight was uneventful, except 2 things stand out in my mind. First, the lady next to me bought headphones from the stewardess, but then couldn't figure out where to plug them in at, so I told her they were on the arm rest that was up. I wasn't sure if she was still going to leave the arm rest up and just plug them in there, or if she was going to lower it to put her headphones in. She lowered it about halfway, plugged them in and then went back to the screen... I was shocked! This was really not comfortable! Finally when she settled on something to watch, she lowered the arm rest all the way *whew*... unfortunately this sort've squeezed her in the seat a little more, so her thigh kind've billowed out towards me and I needed to squeeze a little more towards the window so I wouldn't feel like I was sitting on her.
The second thing that stands out towards me is that we were totally skipped from the steward when they came around to see if anyone wanted anything to drink. This was the second time they passed through, since it was a long flight. I had an empty cup and a half filled cup of water. She had an empty cup. I don't know what the people in the row next to us had, but our whole row was completely skipped. They asked the people in front of us and the people behind us, but not us. The lady turns to me and says, what's wrong with us? Why skip us?! I had no idea what to say to her, I was just as dumbfounded. Her husband ended up getting up and asking the steward for 2 ginger ales (one for her and one for me... how nice!). I thanked them both. When the steward came with our drinks he claims that he saw our cups and thought we had drinks... umm... too bad the empty cups had TRASH IN THEM, so they are CLEARLY drink-less! Granted, I had some water in a cup on my tray, my neighbor didn't! Anyways, it was a harmless mistake that got rectified, so no harm there. The rest of the flight was fine, listening to music, sometimes watching TV, and generally just being squished up against the window. :)
Then, we landed in Atlanta. It was easy enough to look up and see I needed to go to terminal D (can't remember if they call them terminals there of if there is another name for them at the Atlanta airport), so I followed the crowd downstairs to the tram and got off at D, made my way back upstairs and headed to my gate... which happened to be the furthest one... of course! Oh! I didn't mention that I stopped to pee after I got off the flight. I bring this up because the Atlanta airport is SOOOO CLEAN!! It was amazing. Like seriously, you could totally eat in the bathroom and not be grossed out... well... except for just knowing that you're eating in a bathroom... but it's the cleanest public restroom I've ever been in. Seriously in the airport there were people cleaning up everywhere. It's like, oh, someone threw something in the trash bin, time to change the bag! Okay, maybe not that fast, but still very clean. So, I make it down to my gate and don't see my flight listed, so I go to the screens and see they've changed my gate, to one I've already walked by... of course! I make my way to the new gate and go sit down when some people get up to board the flight before mine. That's when I meet a sweet old lady!
She was so nice and very chatty I might add. She was heading to Texas from North Carolina for her... get this... her 55TH HIGH SCHOOL REUNION!!!! So, I'm not kidding when I say "old lady." She said that last she heard, 300 people had RSVP'd.
...to be continued...
Friday, November 13, 2009
I ALMOST hate Delta, but they didn't completely fail me... yet...
I'm in Georgia!! It's like... way late here and I thought I would be tired since I woke up at 4:15am (after going to bed at midnight) pacific time, but no... still not tired. Boo!
I got to SFO at 5am. My flight was scheduled to take off at 6am. No problem, right? WRONG! I got out of the car and as I was walking towards the Delta signs there was a sign outside that said for all Delta flights if you're flying to or THRU one of the following cities, you check in here (meaning the outside kiosk). Atlanta was listed as one of the cities, and the line looked shorter than the one I saw inside, so I was like "score!" and I stood in line. 5-10 minutes later I'm at the kiosk and the man tells me "Oh, it's not letting me check you in here, you have to go inside." I reply back, "but your sign says that if you're flying through Atlanta then I need to check in here." The man then tells me "yeah, but the machine says I cannot do it. You need to go inside." So I am a little peeved, because it was cold and I thought I was getting a good deal by standing outside and following Delta's signs, but turns out I just wasted time and now have to go inside. I tell the man, "then you should really change your sign because it says to check in here and now you're telling me I can't!" (I was also tired... hello... 4 hours of sleep!)
So, I go inside and I walk the line to find the end and I finally get to what I think is the end of the line... it is! Someone keeps calling more people forward to check in and people are looking happy as they leave. :) Good! Success! .. or so I thought... I get to the front and turns out it's those self-check-in things. No problem. Southwest has these (BTW: I LOVE SOUTHWEST), I've used them, no problem.... again... I was wrong. The machine won't let me check my bag, it tells me something is wrong and I have to see an attendant. WTF? I JUST SAW AN ATTENDANT AND HE TOLD ME TO COME TO YOU STUPID MACHINE! *breathe* calm down... so I call for a guy behind the counter (who presumably are there to help). A girl behind the counter starts talking to me and calling me Jackie and I'm trying to interrupt her and tell her that I'm not Jackie and that I need help nonetheless and she is just rambling on and finally I have to speak over her and say "I'm NOT Jackie. I'm not whoever you think I am." The lady replies, "well, where is Jackie?" to which I say, "I don't know. I don't know who that is, but my machine won't let me check in, can you help me?" ... she has no response and she just walks away. B*tch. Another guy walks by and I just say "what does it mean when it says" and the man stops, looks at the screen and says, oh, you can't check in here, you have to go to that line (and he points to a line behind me... which is clearly labeled International Flights) and I'm like "that line?!" and he goes "no, go stand behind the man in brown"... and that's when I notice there is a smaller line right next to the International Line... I saw this line when I first came after the kiosk guy told me to. I thought it was part of International... I was wrong.
It was the line to go to the Domestics counter... the line that I THOUGHT I went in and instead got to the electronics counter... the only problem is... I have wasted 15 minutes standing in line and trying to deal with this stupid ELECTRONIC thingy and the man in the brown suit HASN'T MOVED since I've been inside!!! It is now like... 5:25. I am still comfortable knowing that I will not miss my flight, but I am FREAKING OUT that they will not take my bag because online it said you had to have your bag checked in 30 minutes before departure for Delta to guarantee it will make it on your flight. So, I go and stand behind the man in brown and start praying. Well... not "praying" per say, more like that "OH GOD PLEASE HELP ME" plead that people get in dire situations... which I guess is like prayer, but with less "thank yous" and more "I promise to never do this and such if you just help me!"
I am standing there for MAYBE 1 minute when an attendant who reminds me of Martin Shorts character in Father of the Bride (where he's like kind've "foreign" but also kind've metro or gay or something) comes up and is asking people when their flight is. I say mine is 6am and he looks at me and goes, "Do you have a boarding pass?" and I said "Yes, but I need to check my bag." He says "Oh no, you can use the electronic check in, it'll be faster, the counter is too long" to which I reply, "I just tried that, it didn't work and the guy back there said to stand in this line." The man (who I will now call Roy because I later find out that is his name) says "Give me your boarding pass. Electronic will work." (I stay in line behind the brown coat man just in case because if Roy is wrong, I don't want to lose my place) I keep a close eye on Roy with my boarding pass and he is trying to work the electronic thing but keeps getting interrupted by people around him (for example the electronic machine next to him didn't print out a boarding pass for the guy using it... see... their technology sucks). I'm watching Roy and it messes up just as it did for me. He turns to me and says "That's NOT a special bag!" and I say "I know! I told the machine it wasn't!"
**okay, please note here... a special bag is something that is heavier, larger, funny shaped, etc than your typical checked bag. I had checked in online the day before and told the computer that I had to check 1 bag and had 0 special bags. I KNOW I said "NO" to the special bag area... but when I looked at the confirmation online it said: 1 checked special bag. I could not go back and edit this online even though I tried.**
Roy finally LIES to the machine. He tells the machine that I'm checking in with 0 bags total. 0 checked and 0 special. The machine is happy and continues on. Then Roy re-checks me in and says I have 1 non-special bag and the machine is like "Oh Roy. You are so nice. I am going to do whatever you want because I believe you. I don't believe that brunette over there with the angry eyes." As I'm watching Roy do his thing, I start to walk over to him because I see the machine asking for a credit card to pay the bag fee. Roy starts yelling, "Ma'am! Ma'am! Where are you, I got it to..." and I'm like "I'm right here. I see that. Thank you SOOOO MUCH!!" and I smile real big and I think about hugging him because THANK THE GOOD LOVING LORD FOR MAKING ROY! He walks off to help someone else and I take my credit card out and put it in the slot and a receipt prints out and I wait for someone behind the counter to come by with one of those long white sticker things that they put on your bag, because that's what I've been watching them do for some time now whenever someone is done paying. So I wait, at this point it's like 5:28. I have "checked" my bag and I have a receipt for payment BEFORE the 5:30 cut off and I am no longer freaking out, although I am still plenty mad that they made me freak out. I think that I am home free... but... oh... what is this you say? Hammy is not lucky enough to be "home free" and Hammy should have handcuffed herself to Roy because the machine CLEARLY like him more than me??? ARGH!!!
The machine tells me again "please insert credit card for payment" and I'm like ?????? but I refuse. I think "NO machine! I will NOT insert my credit card, I have already put it away because you gave me a receipt."... but then I think, what if even though it charged me, it just didn't get all the verification it needed or something... I start to rationalize why the machine might want to see my card again, so I swipe it again. No receipt and the machine mocks me "please insert credit card for payment." Umm... at this point I just want my damn bag GONE, so I put in another credit card and STILL nothing!! So I flag ANOTHER man down and say, umm... I have a receipt but no one has taken my bag, my flight is at 6! and the man says, "oh, hmm.. nothing printed out. Umm... let's call Roy over. ROY! HEY ROY!" Roy doesn't hear him because he's helping other people, (what a busy man Roy is) so the man behind the counter tells me "ask that attendant for him" and he wanders off to help someone else with their bags. So I yell "excuse me sir!" and Roy looks up and says "I'll be right with you ma'am." He finishes whatever he's doing (helping some lady in a wheelchair get in line or something) and walks over and I tell him that the man behind the counter said nothing printed out for the bag, but I paid and have a receipt. The man behind the counter walks up and verifies that nothing printed out. Roy takes my boarding pass AGAIN, scans it and the electronic machine tells Roy IT IS TOO LATE TO CHECK BAGS FOR THIS FLIGHT! Roy says "oh, you're late. you can't check your bag now." and I pretty much verbally STOMP that idea to the ground. I FIRMLY and AGITATEDLY state "NO! I was NOT late! I have been trying to check this bag for 30 minutes. I've been told to stand in 3 different lines. I even have a RECEIPT from the machine saying I paid to check the bag already, but the machine didn't print anything out to put on my bag!" I mean come on Roy... you've already helped me... you KNOW that I'm not late. Are you so busy that you can't remember the brunette who sassed you earlier when she didn't believe that the electronic machine would work for you because it didn't work for her? Anyway... Roy either pitied me or feared me, but either way, he jumped behind the counter and said "I'll take care of this."
Then, this next part, took seriously like 1 minute... 1 minute.... that was ALL it took for him to put some yellow tag on my bag, ask me where I was going ("Valdosta, Georgia"), staple some yellow strip of paper to my boarding pass and tell me "You flight has already boarded. Go to the lady at the security check point. Don't stand in line, just go to the lady" I thought "SWEET! I can jump the line" for a moment, but quickly realized that I'd been fooled before by Delta, not just 10 minutes ago, so I said "thank you" and high tailed it around the corner to security. There was a lady standing at the beginning of the security line, so I stopped at her, waved my boarding pass and yellow stripe at her. She asked me "what time is your flight at?" "6" I reply. She tells me to go to the line all the way to the left. There are maybe 4 people in that line where there at at least 10 in all the others, so I'm feeling a little more at ease... that's when I realize that I didn't actually see what Roy put on my bag... omg!? I told him I was going to Valdosta, he saw my boarding passes, did he mark my bag for Valdosta?? Or just for Atlanta?? OMG! I am NOT paying another $20 in Atlanta to have them take my bags to Valdosta! I don't want to have to go through security AGAIN after I get my bag in Atlanta. I am NOT going down to baggage claim in Atlanta! If my bag is not there in Valdosta, then I will just file a missing bag claim and yell at Delta and curse them to high heaven for this crappy morning! The man checks my ID and boarding pass at the end of the line and I bee line for the shortest security scanner line. I breeze through it (however easily you can breeze through those when you need to remove your shoes, jacket, and take your laptop out and your liquids!) and luckily my departure gate is 2 gates away from security. So I make it with PLENTY of time to board.
I am feeling anxious about my bag, but happy to be on the plane. I walk back to my seat and see who my seatmate is and ... omg... she's big! I mean she wasn't like 400 lbs huge as a house, but she was big. Way bigger than me!
... okay, this will have to continue another day... it's way late and I really should sleep... until next time, where you hear about my seatmate and the nice, old, chatty lady in Atlanta who is going to her 55th high school reunion.
Oh, and the time stamp below is Pacific Time... so it's really 3:06 Eastern time.
I got to SFO at 5am. My flight was scheduled to take off at 6am. No problem, right? WRONG! I got out of the car and as I was walking towards the Delta signs there was a sign outside that said for all Delta flights if you're flying to or THRU one of the following cities, you check in here (meaning the outside kiosk). Atlanta was listed as one of the cities, and the line looked shorter than the one I saw inside, so I was like "score!" and I stood in line. 5-10 minutes later I'm at the kiosk and the man tells me "Oh, it's not letting me check you in here, you have to go inside." I reply back, "but your sign says that if you're flying through Atlanta then I need to check in here." The man then tells me "yeah, but the machine says I cannot do it. You need to go inside." So I am a little peeved, because it was cold and I thought I was getting a good deal by standing outside and following Delta's signs, but turns out I just wasted time and now have to go inside. I tell the man, "then you should really change your sign because it says to check in here and now you're telling me I can't!" (I was also tired... hello... 4 hours of sleep!)
So, I go inside and I walk the line to find the end and I finally get to what I think is the end of the line... it is! Someone keeps calling more people forward to check in and people are looking happy as they leave. :) Good! Success! .. or so I thought... I get to the front and turns out it's those self-check-in things. No problem. Southwest has these (BTW: I LOVE SOUTHWEST), I've used them, no problem.... again... I was wrong. The machine won't let me check my bag, it tells me something is wrong and I have to see an attendant. WTF? I JUST SAW AN ATTENDANT AND HE TOLD ME TO COME TO YOU STUPID MACHINE! *breathe* calm down... so I call for a guy behind the counter (who presumably are there to help). A girl behind the counter starts talking to me and calling me Jackie and I'm trying to interrupt her and tell her that I'm not Jackie and that I need help nonetheless and she is just rambling on and finally I have to speak over her and say "I'm NOT Jackie. I'm not whoever you think I am." The lady replies, "well, where is Jackie?" to which I say, "I don't know. I don't know who that is, but my machine won't let me check in, can you help me?" ... she has no response and she just walks away. B*tch. Another guy walks by and I just say "what does it mean when it says
It was the line to go to the Domestics counter... the line that I THOUGHT I went in and instead got to the electronics counter... the only problem is... I have wasted 15 minutes standing in line and trying to deal with this stupid ELECTRONIC thingy and the man in the brown suit HASN'T MOVED since I've been inside!!! It is now like... 5:25. I am still comfortable knowing that I will not miss my flight, but I am FREAKING OUT that they will not take my bag because online it said you had to have your bag checked in 30 minutes before departure for Delta to guarantee it will make it on your flight. So, I go and stand behind the man in brown and start praying. Well... not "praying" per say, more like that "OH GOD PLEASE HELP ME" plead that people get in dire situations... which I guess is like prayer, but with less "thank yous" and more "I promise to never do this and such if you just help me!"
I am standing there for MAYBE 1 minute when an attendant who reminds me of Martin Shorts character in Father of the Bride (where he's like kind've "foreign" but also kind've metro or gay or something) comes up and is asking people when their flight is. I say mine is 6am and he looks at me and goes, "Do you have a boarding pass?" and I said "Yes, but I need to check my bag." He says "Oh no, you can use the electronic check in, it'll be faster, the counter is too long" to which I reply, "I just tried that, it didn't work and the guy back there said to stand in this line." The man (who I will now call Roy because I later find out that is his name) says "Give me your boarding pass. Electronic will work." (I stay in line behind the brown coat man just in case because if Roy is wrong, I don't want to lose my place) I keep a close eye on Roy with my boarding pass and he is trying to work the electronic thing but keeps getting interrupted by people around him (for example the electronic machine next to him didn't print out a boarding pass for the guy using it... see... their technology sucks). I'm watching Roy and it messes up just as it did for me. He turns to me and says "That's NOT a special bag!" and I say "I know! I told the machine it wasn't!"
**okay, please note here... a special bag is something that is heavier, larger, funny shaped, etc than your typical checked bag. I had checked in online the day before and told the computer that I had to check 1 bag and had 0 special bags. I KNOW I said "NO" to the special bag area... but when I looked at the confirmation online it said: 1 checked special bag. I could not go back and edit this online even though I tried.**
Roy finally LIES to the machine. He tells the machine that I'm checking in with 0 bags total. 0 checked and 0 special. The machine is happy and continues on. Then Roy re-checks me in and says I have 1 non-special bag and the machine is like "Oh Roy. You are so nice. I am going to do whatever you want because I believe you. I don't believe that brunette over there with the angry eyes." As I'm watching Roy do his thing, I start to walk over to him because I see the machine asking for a credit card to pay the bag fee. Roy starts yelling, "Ma'am! Ma'am! Where are you, I got it to..." and I'm like "I'm right here. I see that. Thank you SOOOO MUCH!!" and I smile real big and I think about hugging him because THANK THE GOOD LOVING LORD FOR MAKING ROY! He walks off to help someone else and I take my credit card out and put it in the slot and a receipt prints out and I wait for someone behind the counter to come by with one of those long white sticker things that they put on your bag, because that's what I've been watching them do for some time now whenever someone is done paying. So I wait, at this point it's like 5:28. I have "checked" my bag and I have a receipt for payment BEFORE the 5:30 cut off and I am no longer freaking out, although I am still plenty mad that they made me freak out. I think that I am home free... but... oh... what is this you say? Hammy is not lucky enough to be "home free" and Hammy should have handcuffed herself to Roy because the machine CLEARLY like him more than me??? ARGH!!!
The machine tells me again "please insert credit card for payment" and I'm like ?????? but I refuse. I think "NO machine! I will NOT insert my credit card, I have already put it away because you gave me a receipt."... but then I think, what if even though it charged me, it just didn't get all the verification it needed or something... I start to rationalize why the machine might want to see my card again, so I swipe it again. No receipt and the machine mocks me "please insert credit card for payment." Umm... at this point I just want my damn bag GONE, so I put in another credit card and STILL nothing!! So I flag ANOTHER man down and say, umm... I have a receipt but no one has taken my bag, my flight is at 6! and the man says, "oh, hmm.. nothing printed out. Umm... let's call Roy over. ROY! HEY ROY!" Roy doesn't hear him because he's helping other people, (what a busy man Roy is) so the man behind the counter tells me "ask that attendant for him" and he wanders off to help someone else with their bags. So I yell "excuse me sir!" and Roy looks up and says "I'll be right with you ma'am." He finishes whatever he's doing (helping some lady in a wheelchair get in line or something) and walks over and I tell him that the man behind the counter said nothing printed out for the bag, but I paid and have a receipt. The man behind the counter walks up and verifies that nothing printed out. Roy takes my boarding pass AGAIN, scans it and the electronic machine tells Roy IT IS TOO LATE TO CHECK BAGS FOR THIS FLIGHT! Roy says "oh, you're late. you can't check your bag now." and I pretty much verbally STOMP that idea to the ground. I FIRMLY and AGITATEDLY state "NO! I was NOT late! I have been trying to check this bag for 30 minutes. I've been told to stand in 3 different lines. I even have a RECEIPT from the machine saying I paid to check the bag already, but the machine didn't print anything out to put on my bag!" I mean come on Roy... you've already helped me... you KNOW that I'm not late. Are you so busy that you can't remember the brunette who sassed you earlier when she didn't believe that the electronic machine would work for you because it didn't work for her? Anyway... Roy either pitied me or feared me, but either way, he jumped behind the counter and said "I'll take care of this."
Then, this next part, took seriously like 1 minute... 1 minute.... that was ALL it took for him to put some yellow tag on my bag, ask me where I was going ("Valdosta, Georgia"), staple some yellow strip of paper to my boarding pass and tell me "You flight has already boarded. Go to the lady at the security check point. Don't stand in line, just go to the lady" I thought "SWEET! I can jump the line" for a moment, but quickly realized that I'd been fooled before by Delta, not just 10 minutes ago, so I said "thank you" and high tailed it around the corner to security. There was a lady standing at the beginning of the security line, so I stopped at her, waved my boarding pass and yellow stripe at her. She asked me "what time is your flight at?" "6" I reply. She tells me to go to the line all the way to the left. There are maybe 4 people in that line where there at at least 10 in all the others, so I'm feeling a little more at ease... that's when I realize that I didn't actually see what Roy put on my bag... omg!? I told him I was going to Valdosta, he saw my boarding passes, did he mark my bag for Valdosta?? Or just for Atlanta?? OMG! I am NOT paying another $20 in Atlanta to have them take my bags to Valdosta! I don't want to have to go through security AGAIN after I get my bag in Atlanta. I am NOT going down to baggage claim in Atlanta! If my bag is not there in Valdosta, then I will just file a missing bag claim and yell at Delta and curse them to high heaven for this crappy morning! The man checks my ID and boarding pass at the end of the line and I bee line for the shortest security scanner line. I breeze through it (however easily you can breeze through those when you need to remove your shoes, jacket, and take your laptop out and your liquids!) and luckily my departure gate is 2 gates away from security. So I make it with PLENTY of time to board.
I am feeling anxious about my bag, but happy to be on the plane. I walk back to my seat and see who my seatmate is and ... omg... she's big! I mean she wasn't like 400 lbs huge as a house, but she was big. Way bigger than me!
... okay, this will have to continue another day... it's way late and I really should sleep... until next time, where you hear about my seatmate and the nice, old, chatty lady in Atlanta who is going to her 55th high school reunion.
Oh, and the time stamp below is Pacific Time... so it's really 3:06 Eastern time.
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